Presence
- 3 days ago
- 2 min read
In a world that constantly tells us we are not enough, I am reminded to practice what I preach. It is easy to be swayed by the countless advertisements promising opportunities for well-being: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Of course, it is helpful to discern which of these offerings may genuinely support us.
As a psychotherapist, we are encouraged to learn many tools and techniques. Each has its value and can offer guidance as we help clients untangle the issues that keep them awake at night. If you visit almost any psychotherapist’s website (including my own), you will read about different approaches, such as cognitive-behavioural therapy, solution-focused therapy, and emotionally focused therapy, as modalities used to support clients.
However, what we hear less about is the primary skill that comes from being truly present with another person.
Carl Rogers (Rogers, 1957) taught that empathy, unconditional positive regard, and deep attunement help clients feel safe and understood. When this happens, people are better able to access their own awareness and inner wisdom.
The question then becomes: How do we cultivate these qualities?
Presence is a state in which I step into another’s shoes for the duration of our session. It is listening with a voice that does not need to be right, and instead remains curious. There is an appreciation for who the other is, just as they are.
Presence also requires the ability to access my own inner wisdom, shaped through experience, learning, supervision, and guidance. Meditation and mindfulness practices are useful ways to cultivate this presence. Yet even within that awareness, it requires openness to what I might learn, something new that may be helpful.
In my humble opinion, presence begins with the ability to set aside what my ego wants to say about what I know and what I think I should know, as I enter the privileged space of sitting with a client.
When we are truly present, therapy becomes less about providing answers and more about creating a space where understanding can unfold. In that space, people often discover something they may have forgotten they possess - their own inner wisdom. My hope is always to offer that kind of presence: a place where you can slow down, reflect, and be met exactly as you are.
If you are seeking a space where you can be heard and understood, I invite you to contact me for a consult or make an appointment.
References
Rogers, C. (1957). The necessary and sufficient conditions of therapeutic
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