The Practice of Gratitude

Lately, people who know me have been saying I look relaxed and happy. When they ask how I’m doing, I say, “Great.” And then they look amazed. “How could that be? Aren’t you at the end of your doctoral program? Didn’t you start a private counselling practice?”

Yes, that’s all true. So naturally, their follow-up question is:

“How are you not stressed or anxious?”

Or more pointedly:

“Don’t you get perturbed when things don’t go well?”

Of course, I have my moments. But I don’t stay there.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned (and continue to learn) is that life is less about what happens to us and more about how we choose to respond. Viktor Frankl, in Man’s Search for Meaning, wrote that the one freedom we always retain is the freedom to choose our attitude in any given set of circumstances.

And I choose gratitude.

Not because life is easy. But because it’s grounding.

Gratitude for my family, my friends, and the people who support and challenge me.

Gratitude for the ability to do work that feels aligned with who I am.

Gratitude for the strength that allows me to keep going, even on the hard days.

Gratitude for my spirituality, which gives me a deeper sense of purpose and connection.

Gratitude, I believe, is a practice. We can move through life always noticing what’s missing, what’s wrong, what’s unfinished, what could be better. Or we can choose the opposite approach and notice everything that is going well. All the people and experiences that helped us arrive where we are.

Some days, it is hard to be grateful, especially when things fall apart or feel heavy. But even on those days, if I can name one thing or one person I’m thankful for, it’s as if some of the weight lifts.

That’s the gift of gratitude: it tethers me to something deeper, something more stable than whatever the moment is throwing at me. And the beautiful thing about gratitude? It grows. The more grateful we are, the more generous we become.

Gratitude fuels kindness, compassion, and healing. We end up giving more and receiving more -not because we’re trying to get anything in return, but because the cycle of appreciation just keeps flowing.

It’s not a cliché.

It’s a way of living.